I mean I think to myself Oh my gosh what has my depression done to them? I don't even want to be around me so why would they want to be around me?
I actually sat through a movie with them the other day. The sad part of the whole deal was when I got up to use the bathroom I hear good night... they know my routine, I have obliviously hid in my room away from them too much.. They don't deserve that. The deserve a wife and mother that is there... not physically, but emotionally too.
Of course while I am typing this my daughter is watching YouTube and I am hid away in my bedroom.
That's my after work routine... come home, go to bed. It sucks.
The phone rings.... I will let it ring look at it....let it ring... then I am like alright..... I really don't want to answer this call, but I will.
So to help with all this I have decided a few changes that I need to make.
I need to incorporate diet and exercise back into my life. I did feel better when I wasn't 200 lbs of fat.
I will try to wake up early and go to the gym (pray for me... and those people at the gym who has to see me)
I need to stay off my phone and snap back into reality with my family... I only hurt them the most and thats the last thing that I ever wanted to do.
I need to make a new after work routine.... sorry lovely daughter it's no longer YouTube for you... its MarioKart or whatever else we can find on the WII. (I wont touch that XBOX ONE)
I will make a change.... it will be good. I control my emotions....
Oh and the highlight of my day was this morning....
I get a text message from my darling husband that read:
"Have a great day sweetheart I didn't know I snored"
I laughed so loud... it made me smile.
He also likes to talk and welcome people to the 5th grade, but thats a story for another time.
xxxooo
Mel
You are my sunshine. Members sister I'm here if you need to talk it out. I lubba ya.
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